Don’t be like 98% of guys out there and send her anything like the first four messages:
Heyyy baby, lets get a drink sometime 🤨
Love your pics, you look fun 🤨
Why don’t you just give me a chance, I promise I’m a great guy, I just need a break, you look like an honest girl and we live in the same city so we must have something in common ….. 🤨
What a girl like you needs is a guy like me 🤨
This one gives you a much better chance at getting more than quick glance:
There’s a comedy show next week called ‘Submission’ at the Kink club, interested in being my date? You choose your role – Dom or Sub 😉 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’m going to be honest here, if you’re a straight guy and you’re out there on dating apps and dating sites actively seeking a date it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack. You cannot just hope to get lucky; you can’t seem desperate; you can’t try TOO hard; and you can’t be TOO casual. If you’re seriously looking for a partner on a dating site then you have to approach it as if you are applying for a job.
Getting her to respond on dating apps takes strategy.
Strategy #1 – Put some creativity into your invite.
The key word here is invite. Invite her out: you’re on a dating site to meet people, not just chat. If you think you need to build a rapport first then someone else is going to beat you to the punch. Come up with a specific idea or a plan and invite her. It doesn’t have to be wild or crazy, it can be as simple as a bowling game, a food tasting event, adult night at the history museum. That being said, you probably want to stay away from anything private (like a walk down a secluded beach), or potentially strenuous (like a single-track mountain bike ride), or anything that may trigger protective instincts (like a picnic you cooked and labored over).
Pick an event. Pick a time. Invite her. It really is that simple.
Why does a simple invite work on getting her to respond?
√ Because most people don’t do this. Either they’re burned out on getting no response back, or they don’t put in the time to make a plan, or they lack confidence. You can stand out by doing this one thing.
√ It’s a simple yes or no. This works in your favor because they don’t have to put too much effort in their reply. They don’t have to think too long. Most people on dating apps get tired of the games. If you want her/him to respond back, make their life more simple.
√ This provides more opportunities to keep the dialogue going. Even if the proposal doesn’t fit her plans, it gives her an incentive to respond back, she may suggest a different day or activity, or simply respond back, but it gets your foot in the door. This part is extremely important because you’ll rise to the top of her ‘optional list’ and in the dating app world where there are numerous fakes and flakes, this is valuable. It elevates you from ‘nobody’ to ‘somebody’.
Strategy #2 – Don’t overshare.
Keep it simple and to the point. If she wants to read your full bio or introduction, she’ll read your profile. Anything more than a simple paragraph introduction shows you’re putting way too much time into this and it sort of comes across as desperate. Women’t don’t like desperate, especially if you start off that way. You might comment on something you noticed in her profile, to show you’re not copying and pasting, and you actually read her profile, but keep it simple. Something like “I think I recognize that mountain in the background, were you at South Lake?”
This also means don’t beg. Seriously. You may feel like you’re being clever by writing out some long sob story or sharing a funny event that happened to your family dog, but if it takes more than a few seconds to glance over they’ll likely click out and on to the next.
Then, make sure your dating profile is up to par
because after reading your message this is likely what she will read next. If you don’t know how your dating profile compares and you want some quick (or longer) tips on polishing it, sign up for my newsletter because I’ll be covering all that in a future blog post.
And, if you need ideas for dates that will take your dating style up a few notches, watch my video 7 Ways to Boost your Dating Game
