The best spontaneous dates are planned. They’re not just happenstance. An oxymoron, yes, but spontaneity is a behavior that accrues with time. Similar to confidence and self-assuredness, social skills are a learned behavior, and you can learn to date spontaneously. If you’re stuck in a rut reaching for the same date idea, this seven-step list will teach you how to create spontaneous date ideas.
Spontaneous date ideas
This isn’t about making lists, tucking ideas into the back of your mind and pulling one or two out hoping to spark her interest.
I read something the other day, our small habits every day are what makes us who we are more than anything else.
To come up with spontaneous date ideas, instead of learning how to think spontaneously, shift your mindset into being prepared for spontaneity by staying aware and on top of events going on around you. It’s almost like learning a language, it has to be done at every opportunity, on every day…not cramming on a Thursday night before a Friday test. View every event you read about or learn about as an opportunity for a date idea.
First, someone who enjoys your company is going to like doing just about ANYTHING with you. It’s not about impressing her with money, crazy well-planned out dates, something brand new she’s never done before. If you like one another’s company, that should be your focus.
Spontaneity that feels seamless often has a lot more history behind it. For example, if someone just randomly “saw a yoga class on Tuesday nights in the cathedral, do you want to go”, they most likely didn’t just stumble across that event. The more likely scenario is they knew about that event for some time, and it just happened to be Tuesday night when the date happened and they pulled it from the library of events in the mind.
Build your ‘library of events’ all the time. Another word for spontaneity could be curiosity. Instead of telling yourself “I want to live spontaneously”, instead say, “I am going to be curious every single day.” Seek out events, information, happenings, clubs, stuff going on around you, in your town, community, state, country, common travel destinations, you get my drift.
Don’t get boxed in or focused on one type of event. If you have a specific activity you enjoy, such as a sport or a hobby, you’re into concerts or gaming or soccer, look beyond concert venues, way beyond. Trying something radically different such as bee keeping, urban farming, kefir/beer/root beer/ keg making, and don’t stop there. Keep expanding, look up something new every day.
It doesn’t have to be in your own back yard. Subscribe to an event or newsfeed conglomerate, such as Eventbrite, Fever, Medium, Atlas Obscura, or magazine apps, such as National Geographic, Outside, If you don’t want to pay for all those apps (and who does), check them out digitally from your local library. Every small town to big city has one.
Another element every urban and suburban area share is a community events forum, paper, billboard. Pick it up, subscribe, make it a habit to know what is going on in your community. You won’t know when there’s a special beer garden, chili cookoff, movie playing at the lake, community BBQ, if you don’t remain aware of your local happenings.
You all know I’m a big fan of Meetup.com. Not only does it get you of the house and doing something, but you will be meeting all kinds of people who also do things. People like to share their lives, what they are doing, and you’ll learn out about all kinds of activities and things to do in your area from other people who are out doing those things. Most likely, people will initiate conversation if you are open, but if you need tips on making small talk, visit this article, or ways to improve your social skills, here. If there are no meetup group around your area, then make a monthly routine of visiting the closest area where there is one, or something similar, join a few groups, and go.
Spontaneous date ideas
Spontaneity isn’t something people are just born with, gifted, fall into, or a behavior trait they are lucky to be born with. It can seem like a massive hurdle to go from planning the same kinds of safe date – movie, dinner, walk, weekend bike ride, (which are fine date ideas, sure) but if you want to be spontaneous you need to have fodder.
Building fodder for spontaneous dates
All the suggestions listed above are how you build fodder for dates. Make it a daily habit to look through events, have them sent to your email, just so you have an idea of all that is going on out there.
The first step is seeking it out – you won’t know what is going on around you unless you seek it out
Once you know what options there are going on, those ideas will start popping up in your mind next time you have a date option.
The next step
Start attending some of the events, you have to get out there and just do it. Once you do you’ll see how easy it is to meet people just like yourself who are out there having fun, being spontaneous, and who knows you just might meet someone at one of those events who you exchange numbers with for another time.
For more ideas, a quick start, or ‘date ideas cliff notes’
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