Dating after Covid (or any dry spell) – get past the speed bump

If you’re single you might feel even more desperate after a dry spell than before. Dating post-Covid feels like the entire dating scene has changed. That’s because it has. Social skills dropped, face-to-face engagement declined. Touch, pheromones became a memory. Isolation set it, followed by social anxiety. The changes are real and significant. No matter how many virtual meetings you’ve done, nothing replaces in-person contact.

So here you are ready to break out of your shell and wondering how the heck you’re going to meet someone now: people, including yourself, hesitate getting back out, it feels like the rules keep changing, it feels bleak out there.

Couple inside a cafe

Realize whatever you had going on pre-Covid, you still have it

If you mastered a pickup technique that worked, you still have it. If you had mad skills putting together the most awe-inspiring picnic or a kick-ass cocktail dubbed the LPR (Liquid Panty Removal), you still have it.

Just remember, you are not alone, there are thousands of people out there who feel exactly the same

If you don’t feel like anything was working before 

Then there’s no better time to change it. Change is in the air. Embrace it. I guarantee someone out there is thinking of YOU – well attributes you have, dreaming you up. You’re their ideal date. You just need to find her. Plus, let me repeat that in a different way – you are in the same boat as many. Which means that the player who always got the women at the bar, he’s back to square one. You’re on an even playing field now. In fact, you could now have a head start if you look at it that way.

Women are in the same boat

If you feel like a monk, there are many women out there who feel like they’ve been living the life of a nun. Humans are going to date. They’re going to procreate. It’s primal. You just need to get out there and meet them.

If you’re feeling isolated and alone, let me assure you the feeling is going around. This article explains the most consuming feeling that comes form a forced dry spell, such as Covid, is the loss of interaction which stems from the loss of desire. “It is that feeling of not existing, of complete invisibility, that has been plaguing me, and the millions of others like me.”  People feel less desired, more alone, alienated, isolated and socially withdrawn.

You need to get out there and meet people, to meet people – although it sounds like common sense, it can feel like a massive hurdle. These tips will help you get past that. 

If you’ve been in a dry season, the first thing you need to do is JUST GET OUT

When you get lonely you have to get out of it fast or it can start to wear on you. Then you start to question your reality, your ability to meet people and a dark cloud starts forming and it can feel impossible to get out from. It starts to feel like WHO you are, instead of a segment of your life.

Turn the tables on social anxiety

Interaction is the key. Socializing accelerates your personal growth and is the key that unlocks your inhibitions to meeting people, which happens to be the first step in dating.

Don’t GO OUT with the intention finding a date right away

That puts way too much pressure on you and you’ll drag your feet and never do it. Right now you just need to get out there and refine your skills. Dust off that cape. Network. You don’t need to put a whole lot of pressure on yourself to actually find a date right away. You really just want to get some practice. Start having conversation again, face to face. Start flirting again. Start learning how to read people again.

Ease into it

Commit to this exercise for the next 7 days

Each day for the next week go online or pick up a local magazine or community events paper and locate an activity you would be interested in doing. If you pick up a local magazine and see a beer garden coming up next month, jot that down. The next day if you look up your home town on feverup or Eventbrite and see a Virtual Reality Zombie fest coming up in 2 weeks, make a note. Go to your local coffee shop and see if there are any group events posted. Cruise through meetup.com and see if anything pops up.

It doesn’t have to be local, it doesn’t have to be in person, it doesn’t have to be in your hometown. Eventbrite, Meetup have several online events, some are specifically for singles. The point is to engage and meet people. Socialize. Dust off your cape

Pick one and actually go do it

Again, the point isn’t to go out with the intention of meeting a potential date. The intention is to see that there are events going on that might be interesting to you, and for you to have the sensation of getting ready, of anticipating, of thinking it through, of planning, and of doing. Of being around people again, learning how to make small talk, and having a conversation again (if you need practice, these article links are a good place for review)

I reiterate – you have to get out there and meet people if you’re playing the dating game. Because, just like any game, you might be able to learn the rules of the game by just watching, but you won’t actually be playing the game until you get out there and start playing the game. At some point you’re going to have to lace up your shoes and get out there.

friends laughing together after a dry spell

When you do get out there – you might not find your ideal date right away but you will be busy, exploring and expanding your options – which just might bring you leaps and bounds closer to finding your next flame.

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