(For a video of this post, visit my YouTube channel here)
From which sites to visit, how to build your profile, and what to do when you’re on a date, here are a few things to keep in mind and set you on the path to landing your perfect date.
#1 You have to get out there and date to meet someone.
You have to put yourself out there to find a partner. I’m a big advocate for websites like Meetup.com, AirBnb Experiences, tours, classes where you’re doing things you enjoy and where you will meet people doing the same thing. If you like the outdoors, join events at the sporting goods store. Most colleges and community centers offer weekend classes; in dancing, food, poetry, the list is limitless. Introduce yourself on NextDoor. Join community events …
When you join casual groups doing casual things you’ll already share a commonality without the stress of being on a date.
Go on different dating sites. We often gravitate to a few common ones, maybe we associate them as being the most popular, therefore they must have the most options. However, other dating sites may be more aligned to your lifestyle. Sites such as MeetMindful, where the focus is on similar holistic beliefs. A quick search lists several, spend a little time becoming familiar with them. And, make sure you use different pictures and text that resonate with that dating site; don’t copy and paste the same introduction or use the same photos for all of them. Date different kinds of people. Go on different kinds of dates.
#2 Make the date fun, invite them to do something more unique.
Move past the standard coffee or cocktails date: take a walk in the park, sign up for community events, check out the stars with a thermos of tea, wow your date with a handy sky guide app that shows the constellations. Look up fun things to do where you live: graffiti street art, public gardens, a zoo, comedy shows, outdoor movies, art installations, solar happenings. Get on a mailing list for your area so you can create a running list of different activities as they pop up. It doesn’t have to be expensive. The key is to think outside the box.
#3 Take time with your dating profile.
If you create a dating profile, post pictures of yourself doing fun things. Show your personality! Pictures speak a thousand words, don’t put up endless selfies staring into the camera. Don’t cut yourself out of a photo with an ex. Do post pictures of you doing you: your hobbies, with a pet, hiking, biking, farming, gardening, cooking, fishing, whatever your jam is, we all have at least one, post it.
Write a thoughtful profile. You’re basically applying for a date. I can’t tell you how many profiles I’ve read that are super short, with no punctuation and minimal thought. Put in some time and effort, proofread, and most of all, be honest. Don’t inflate your profile with who you think you are. Or who you want to be. You don’t want to meet someone who thinks you’re someone else because you lied. It’s not fair to anyone, especially you, you deserve someone who likes you for you. So go out and advertise YOU.
#4 Call, facetime, actually speak and connect in real time.
It might seem old school, and who has time to talk on the phone, but you’ll thank yourself for it later. Not only will you gleam information to help you out on your first in person date, but you may not even want to waste time going on a date with them. Plus, it’s part of the whole dating process. You feel butterflies, and that is what dating is about. It’s the journey.
#5 Confidence is sexy AF.
It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like, or where you come from. You can live in a trailer and hitchhike to work. People love confidence. They’re drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I’m not talking about in-your-face-jerk type of confidence. Don’t put others down, don’t talk negative about people, but own who you are. Make a list of what you like about yourself, and make it your mantra for the few days leading up to your date. You’re unique, you’re special, and someone will love you for you. Act like it. Feel it.
#6 Since we’re going over attitude, another one is chivalry and femininity.
Genders exists for a reason. Guys – open doors, open car doors, walk on the outside of the sidewalk. Ladies – let them. Yes, there is a fine line between chivalry and sexism: not all women like a knight in shining armor. But this is more about being courteous. Being aware and respectful of gender isn’t placating gender roles, it’s acting in accordance with social norms. And, again, that’s what dating is allllll about.
#7 Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
This is an age-old parable. But it’s true. Go on multiple sites, go to multiple places, find things you enjoy doing, places you enjoy going – and do them, go there. I have a guy friend who really likes classical music; he travels every year to Austria to listen to a few of his favorites. That is one of the places he’s most likely to find a partner than putting up a profile on a dating site and crossing his fingers. It’s better to get out and do the things you enjoy doing because that’s where you’re going to find your soul mate.
There is a saying on the Holstee manifesto –
There you have it – 7 ways to get out there and spice up your dating life. If you want a few simple tips on acing a first date, visit this post.
