You’ve exchanged numbers, everything seemed great then suddenly, she ghosts you. These are 5 mistakes men make when texting women and will answer the questions:
Why do women ghost?
What did you do wrong?
If people say you did nothing wrong, it was all her, I don’t buy that and neither should you. Some advise, ‘her mind changed, she lost interest, you’re better off without a flake, she was just looking for attention’. All that may be true, but if you held her interest for a while and then you didn’t, something you did didn’t jive with her.
Since there was little to no commitment formed between you, she didn’t feel any responsibility to you in continuing the exchange. Hence, the ghosting. Use it as a learning opportunity for next time.
In the beginning stages of communication, no matter how you meet: online, in person, or if you’ve known each other for a while and just started talking, its vital to keep a few things in mind. I’ve ghosted guys, and I’ll tell you some of the reasons women ghost men during the early stages of communication.
Overexcitement
There is a fine line between showing interest and being TOO eager. This is one of the biggest reasons women ghost. You may have exchanged a few texts, you may have even set up a date, then suddenly there’s no contact.
Reasons this may happen – You appear needy. When you focus that much of your attention on her it looks like you have little going on in your life. Develop interests, a purpose, a hobby, but find things to do that keep you busy outside of infatuation.
If this happens to you – don’t text multiple times without a reply. Text ONCE, and leave it alone. When getting to know a woman through text let it build slowly, If she gets back to you, then you wait a while, like an hour or two, and reply. When setting up a date, simply set up a date and leave it alone. Leave it be until a day before the date and text a simple confirmation, “Just confirming tomorrow still works for you, looking forward to seeing you at ____.
Your Vibe
Do not underestimate the energy you give off. This text in the paragraph above is more likely to get a smile than something like, “Hey, how’s it going?” Texts that say nothing, go nowhere, don’t contribute in some way, aren’t really worth a response. Just because you send something doesn’t mean it’s worth engagement. In fact, non-directional texts are worse than sending nothing because it shows you have little drive to put in an effort.
Convey interest and excitement, things like exclamation marks, statements about your day, what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, these let her feel like you’re including her.
If you’re asking her out – be direct
Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t wait a week before taking the next step. If you want to ask her out your best method is to be upfront and ask her, and don’t take more than a couple texts to do so. You might say, “there’s a movie out I want to see and it’s playing this weekend, would you like to go together?” Or, “I’ve got a full week ahead and need to clear my mind this weekend, are you interested in going for a walk/hike/bike ride on Saturday or Sunday?”
This is a time when small talk can help you with what to say and how to say it, If you want some ideas about mastering small talk, visit this article: How to Master Small Talk (and why).
You drag the texting thread on and on
Guys, this one is a huge killer, a big mistake, when texting women. You don’t need to keep the conversation going to keep her interest. Less is more. SEDUCE, don’t smother. I get it, sometimes we can all feel a little insecure when the other person takes a while to reply. We wonder if we said the wrong thing. We start to grasp. Do not grasp by sending another text. Use time to your advantage. If you’re thinking about them so much when there’s’ a lapse, think about what your lapse does to them. It works in the same way. Time gives the other person a chance to daydream.
If you want to have a conversation – CALL her
Relying on text for dialogue is not the best way to communicate. It’s best left for short, simple exchange, like reaching out to let her know you’re thinking of her. “Hope you’re having a good morning! I’m off for a workout but wanted to say hi!”
There’s a reason you see people walking down the street holding their phone up and talking – it’s because they are facetiming. They are talking. They are having a conversation. You can learn a whole lot more about someone, and they can learn more about you, by talking to them.
These aren’t rules to follow, they are some ideas to think about
If you’ve been ghosted, it sucks. Plain and simple. You’ll question why, run scenarios through your mind, think what if, try to reach out again, get disappointed, question yourself. DON’T. It happened, move on. Let it go. You’ll have another chance with someone else, just try things differently next time. And when you do, make your own rules, have a plan, but do it stick to it no matter how excited you get.
If you’re communicating on dating apps there are a lot more factors stacked against you. You need a strategy: this article will give you some additional pointers.
