2nd Date Conversation Ideas – Build Intrigue

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You made it through the first date with flying colors and see yourself on another. You’re wondering what to talk about next, how to hold her attention even longer, and where to steer the conversation. The best 2nd date conversation ideas are designed to build intrigue. (Insider tip – even if you’re still planning the 1st date, it’s a good idea to go over this this now, proactively, if your 1st date goes better than planned you can move right into the intrigue-her phase). 

Remember your date goals

On your first few dates with someone new goals change for each date. Actually, this is important during the first months. While it is important to tailor all aspects of the date to fit the person you’re with: location, attire, and conversation, GOALS for the date can be similar, especially if your ultimate intent is for another date.

The goal for pre-date conversation is to keep her interested by the way of small talk . This is how you land a date, get her number, make plans to meet. Use small talk to make her interested in what you have to say, or in your demeanor, or what you’re doing. For tips visit this article.  

1st date conversation goals are to make her want more, and to learn more about her to decide if you even want a second date. You do this by engaging in a conversation, not by trying to impress her or give her a list of your achievements. For more tips visit this article. 

2nd date goal, build intrigue by expanding conversation with idea-based discussions. For this we can refer to sage advice from Socrates

“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.” ~ Socrates

couple laughing and discussing ideas

Following this concept will help you feel more confident, more engaging, put together and smarter, with any conversation, and it certainly helps on dates.

There are many ways to rephrase this statement and I encourage you to find your own, but basically, when you understand your unique role in the world and ability to contribute and participate in life, you appreciate your value. Your sense of self-worth improves, you have confidence. For more ideas on how to do that, visit this article on the 10 Thought Habits of People with High Self-Worth.  

The ability to discuss ideas is why it’s important to develop a hobby, a sport, read a book, do something nice for others,  volunteer your time, be aware of what is going on in your orbit and around the world. These ideas will help you on any date, and are great conversation ideas for 1st, 2nd, and more dates.


IDEAS to discuss on a 2nd date

Start local 

Pick up your local paper. What developments or improvements are being made to the community? What’s going on in the community happenings section? Chances are high that she will either be familiar with the topic or she will be able to contribute to the topic, or she may be interested in the topic.

Visit your local museum: every small town to big city has one. And talk about it. If the museum covers local history, the town beginnings or important milestones, you can expand on IDEAS about the local development, contributions the town has made to social development, etc.

Branch out 

What is the latest movie, or documentary; where it was filmed; what is the main plot or moral of the story? You do not want topics that go nowhere. Aim for topics that branch out to that different interests in which someone could expand.

If you’re into food, and who isn’t really (food brings people together), try a twist on your favorite meal at a local restaurant, or choose an item on the menu you’re familiar with and compare your version with this version. Learn to cook a new dish from a different culture, or try a cultural restaurant.

Go grande 

A good book is an option, if you don’t like to read then pick up an audio book.

Make sure it’s a topic you enjoy and not something you feel you should read.  If you like zombies. Then read about zombies. Or, if you’re into nonfiction, historical fiction, science-fiction, then go that route. You don’t have to impress her about the topic, your enthusiasm, and the way you retell it is the intent.


Why discussing ideas on a 2nd date will keep her intrigue 

couple discussing ideas on 2nd date

Ideas provide value to date conversation

Discussing ideas are a polite form of engagement. It’s a tactic to engage others rather than appear as if you’re  gossiping (shallow), complaining (negative), or rambling (incoherent or out of practice). Anger, bitterness, boredom, fear, obsession, are generally of little interest to people who don’t know you, and it’s not pleasant to be around.  Instead, aim to be charming and friendly.

If your mind is running a blank, you can simply take any statement she puts out there, or any subject, and turn it into an idea rather than a comment.

Some examples:

I do agree with you, and I wonder how ______ came about.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Well, I’ve working on my 5 year plan and this week I did ______ .

I think it’s great that _______ and I wonder what would happen if _______ .


Don’t just say whatever comes through your mind

Save long, deep, thought-provoking conversations exploring the meaning of life, love, and everything in-between for when you’re past the initial stages of building familiarity. While these subjects are okay to talk about, and bring couples even closer, censoring is valuable and especially important on early dates when focus is on building a compatible foundation. Much of what goes through our minds isn’t meant to be shared, our inner monologue contemplates a range of random ideas that are mired with our individual past or thoughts of our future. This won’t make much sense to someone else, especially if you’re on a 1st or 2nd date.

So next time you want to take the date conversation up a notch  

take a prompt from philosophy, debate club or book group (all of which become invovled fast) and discuss an idea.




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