Thomas and I met every few months. We’d have a long night of drinking, dinner, and gambling, then room time after. Those ‘distractions’, as he put it, always followed with long discussions about his life.
“I can’t tell if she likes me for who I am, or for what I am. You know what I mean? As soon as I take a woman home, I can see the light bulb go on in her head. She sees my life and she changes. She becomes the person she thinks I want her to be. I’m tired of playing games to sort through who is real and who isn’t,” Thomas sighed.
Guys like Thomas, single, successful, and hot as hell. He was in his mid-30’s, and likely had a girlfriend in every major city in the country. Yet, he progressively turned to escorts, like me, for dating. A date with an escort is easy. We show up dressed to impress. We laugh at his jokes. Shower him with compliments. And we’re always ready to get frisky between the sheets. When the night is over, we say goodbye.
Just like the married men I met, when Thomas paid for sex, it was a financial transaction, void of emotion. It was strictly business.
“Plus, most women close to my age are ready to settle down and have kids, or they’re waiting for their knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet. I don’t want that right now.”
Thomas decided it was easier to rent a girlfriend, than play the dating game. He didn’t have to follow some form of Sex and the City rules he didn’t understand. Or worry about who was really just a gold digger. He was able to focus on his career better this way, without the complications of a relationship getting in the way.
Another client, Jason, was younger than Thomas, in his 20’s. However, unlike Thomas, Jason didn’t rent girlfriends. He leased them.
“I’ve never had a girlfriend, but I hope to someday. I like a couple of girls at work, but the one I like the most has a boyfriend. I say hi at lunch, and I hope one of them will notice me one day,” Jason said.
Guys like Jason saw escorts because he simply didn’t know any other way. Dating was just another structured business transaction.
Guys who lease girlfriends don’t have one at home. Either they don’t have the personality to land a wife or girlfriend, or they’re too conceited, too honest, or too busy to commit to a traditional relationship.
Our hands were intertwined, his foot reached for mine and he draped his head across my chest. Jason relished our pillow talk. It was probably the only time a woman listened to him outside of work. Jason was a product of the Millennial Generation, which creates Peter Pan kids stuck at home in their twenties paying off debt and geeky tech kids dumped into the American technology industrial complex. From a young age, most of his life was experienced via a computer screen or a smartphone, at the expense of socializing and dating.
As he grew older, so did his allowance for escort companionship. He stockpiled porn and prostitute sites like they were baseball cards. Until his view of dating, too, was also shaped by media, video games, pornography, and prostitutes.
“They ask stupid questions,” he sighed, referring to the girls on dating websites, “I don’t want to deal with that.”
It was easy for Jason to pay someone to come over on the weekend. The dates were smooth, and he didn’t have to deal with the problems of a real relationship. Like Thomas, choosing between a career and a girlfriend wasn’t a hard choice, when he could pay for one instead.
(Image Credit: PeopleImages; iStock Photo)