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The Dildo Dictionary (for her)

October 12, 2015 by admin

Shopping for sex toys has never been more fun!

Why – the many benefits to sex aides

You can learn to have better orgasms
Add variety to your sex life
For all my solo sisters out there, sex toys will give you a sex life
Live out your fantasies – those steamy hunks will come right off those Harlequin pages and into your bedroom
Practice practice practice for when you need to show off your new skills and reel him in

What-
Dildos are the most common sex toys today

Basic dildos (non moving and non vibrating) come in all shapes and sizes and materials, they’re basically a replica in the shape of a penis, long and slender,
They’ve evolved from a basic beginner’s pink plastic phallus to a large purple fist
Interactive dildos, like the iconic dildo of the century – the Rabbit, which rotates in multiple directions with multiple speeds, and has a band of moving beads trapped inside the dildo that can move simultaneously, or independently, from the rest of the dildo
Strap on dildos (for when you want to to swap genders with your new flavor of the month)

Vibrators are another huge hit – even if you can’t orgasm with a partner, you CAN with a vibrator

There are clit vibrators and vaginal vibrators
A bullet is more of a clit vibrator, is small and held against the clit to produce an orgasm
A wand is a much larger form of a bullet
A G-Spot wand is more like a vaginal vibrator and is shaped so that once it goes inside the vagina it vibrates against the g-spot
Panty vibrators are designed to fit inside the panty, or around the panty, and can be controlled via a remote (either battery powered, rechargeable, or connected via a cord) all fun and handy when you want to take your play more public, like to dinner

Back end bliss –

Anal beads – the darker ones are better, and no cloth, string or fabric, for obvious reasons
Anal trainers – these are various sizes from small finger diameters all the way up up and up
Butt plugs – some are glamourous, with crystal embellishments, others have pony tails protruding from the end (for those times when you want to up your kink a few notches)

Kegel enhancers –

Ben Wa balls – various sized balls that are inserted into the vagina and worn for various lengths of time, the vagina walls involuntarily clamp down to keep them held inside
Weights – small marbles that are intended to be used in graduating weights, the heavier they are, the more the vagina has to work to keep them inside

Pussy pump –

Just what it sounds like, you suction cup your pussy inside and start pumping, eventually your lips swell and engorge with blood, heightening the sensitivity

Fuck machine –

A top notch hard core dildo contraption. A moving machine that can be electronically adjusted to go fast or slow, you get the idea.

On the more kinky side –

Nipple clamps
Blindfolds
Handcuffs
Whips
Paddles
Spreader bars – to keep the ankles and wrists spread far apart

Jewelry –

Clit or nipple piercings
Nipple shields or clit jewelry – for those who don’t want to punch holes in your most private girly parts
(http://www.sexy-jewels.com/contents/en-us/d25_Intimate_jewelry_clitoris.html)

Sex swings, sex pillows –

Sex swings – door version, hanging version, self-standing version, and the body version, just make sure it’s set up properly!
Sex pillow – hard wedges that prop the body up for easy access

Or you can go the more organic route –

Pickles
Bananas
Cucumbers
Zucchinis

Selecting your sex toys –

The most important detail is size
Too little and well, what’s the point
Too big and it hurts
Look for something that is close to your most ideal penis size! Maybe your last boyfriend, or the guy you like fucking the most, you know, the one who gave you the best and most orgasms, whoever that might be

Materials of sex toys –

Jelly – inexpensive, somewhat soft, less intimidating, but they’re porous so they’re harder to clean and they stain
Cyber skin – this magical material feels just like real skin and a real penis, it’s very porous, and it gets sticky when you wash it so beware of pet hair and fuzz, you can stick tit in a baggie with cornstarch
Silicone – they’re flexible, come in rainbows of colors and sizes, are somewhat soft and they take on the body temperature quickly, some have a spot for a tiny bullet vibrator
Acrylic- Hard plastic, it’s easy to clean, but it’s hard plastic, enough said
Glass – very firm and hard, not my favorite but they can be cleaned quickly and easily, and YES!! You can even stick them in the dishwasher!
I’ve heard of wood ones, but never seen one, maybe organic bamboo is the next movement toward sustainable and recyclable sex toys!

Motor-ability-

Battery powered – probably the most common, but don’t get overzealous, I’ve heard horror stories of battery explosions at the most inconvenient times
Wall plug – the most powerful, but also the most expensive, and there’s a cord that gets in the way
Rechargeable – not as common, but usually waterproof and leakproof

Cleanliness –

Sharing sex toys? Use condoms

Storing your sex toys –

They don’t need to be kept in an airtight container or anything, but it’s always a good habit to keep them in a little bag, you know, like your do your make up. You never know who might stumble across your nightstand drawer.

Lubricating your sex toys –

Silicone – long lasting but can’t be used with silicone toys
Waterbased – safe to use with all sex toys and non irritating, but they dry easy and fast. Stay away from the flavored ones because the sugar sometimes encourages yeast to grow and yeast is only our friend in bread
Oil based – not good for latex toys or condoms, but long lasting

(my personal favorite – wet platinum because it doesn’t get sticky, it’s a pure high-grade silicone, works under water, and it’s even an FDA accepted medical device)

Cleaning your sex toys

Make sure you have an anti bacterial cleaning spray
Alcohol or peroxide isn’t enough, and soap sometimes leaves a residue.

Where to shop for sex toys –

Sex toy stores are the most tactile because you can actually see, touch, and sample all the things I mentioned above. Even if you don’t make it to one of those massive dildo warehouses in Las Vegas, or the world famous Adult Entertainment Expo where everything in the porn industry is up on display, today you can shop discreetly anywhere the world wide web takes you.
Online is the next best, and it’s discreet. Amazon is one of my personal favorites.

Because we could all use another sex toy in our lives!

(Image Credit: lalilele13, Fotolia)

When will America grow up?

October 9, 2015 by admin

There was another disturbing school shooting last week, this time in my home state of Oregon, in a small town, where gun laws are nearly non-existent. Since Oregon is an open-carry state, I grew up seeing shotguns line the back windows of pick-up trucks, and listened to eight-year-olds boast about shooting guns after school. It’s a state where, if you’re rubbing shoulders with the right sheriff in town, it’s easy to get a concealed-carry license. That license is issued at his personal discretion, not by a series of background and mental health checks. Since every state in America makes their own laws about gun ownership, that might be one of the reasons there were 296 mass shootings in the United States in 2015 alone, according to shootingtracker.com.

I bought my first gun in Nevada, legally, at a gun store. It took me all of fifteen minutes and I walked out with a Heckler and Koch semi-automatic with a fifteen round clip. It was also in Las Vegas I had another first. I decided to rent out my body for money, as an escort. I’ve been responsible with both choices. I’ve never shot up a shopping mall full of people. Nor have I slept my way through the dating pool having sex-in-the-city one night stands passing chlamydia around like it’s Christmas eggnog. I did go on to start an escort agency, but there, too, I was responsible, providing a safe outlet for both women and men to explore their sexuality more safely. The women didn’t face traffickers, and the men weren’t robbed blind by tricks stealing their treats.

I find it absurd that it’s illegal for me to make a choice to rent out my body and my time for money. I find it disconcerting that it’s illegal for a lonely and or horny man to pay me to spend a couple of hours with him, but it’s not illegal to go to a gun show and buy a rapid fire assault military weapon with a thirty round clip.

The rest of the world is watching us right now and laughing. We’re like the immature freshman who has potential, but has yet to pull his or her head of the clouds first. We have prostitution all wrong. We have gun control all wrong.

Let’s take a look at Europe for example. Its perspective on sexuality, from topless beaches, to extra-marital affairs, to prostitution, isn’t a moral or conservative issue. France couldn’t understand our obsession with Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. When President Francois Hollande and his l’affaire came out, 77% of the French polled said his affair was a personal matter. 84% said it did not change their opinion of him, according the Journal du Dimanche.

The history of prostitution in Europe continues to adapt, but the Netherlands is widely recognized as a pioneer in legalized prostitution. It all started in their brothels, in 2001, when the government lifted a ban that had been in place since the start of the 20th Century. Prostitution was regulated. No longer forced underground, it became a viable legitimate business.

Since then, eight countries in Europe have legalized and regulated the buying and selling of sex, as a legitimate business. In another twelve European countries, prostitution is legal but brothels and pimps are not.

In fact, of the developed countries in the world–the countries with the highest income and GDP per capita, and higher standards of living and education–the United states, Japan, Germany, France, United Kingdom, Italy, Canada, South Korea, Australia, Spain–prostitution is legal in all but two, the United States and South Korea.

Legalizing prostitution means that it regulates and protects. Prostitutes can register as a business, undergo health checks, and pay social security and taxes. They haverights, and with rights come services, safety, and self-worth. When prostitution is legal and regulated, it is taxed. Prostitution tax dollars add up to a 15 Billion euro a year industry in Germany alone, according to The Telegraph UK.

Gun control, on the other hand, faces stricter laws in both Europe and Australia. Following the Port Arthur massacre in 1996 in Australia, a new template of gun safety was put into effect. They’ve not had a mass shooting since, and it’s estimated to have saved 200 lives a year. European law prohibits the private possession of fully automatic weapons, and regulates the possession of semi-automatic ones and handguns. Gun owners undergo an extensive background and mental health check, and then they’re given a license to own a gun. No European country has more than 30% of its population possessing guns, compared to 88% for the United States, according to the Trans-Atlantic Magazine.

Although America is a leading super power of the world, it is a younger country, established in 1776. Europe, colonized during the 15th century, is way more mature than we are with social issues like gun control and prostitution. We are hurting ourselves socially and financially. My prayers go out to everyone who has, and will, fall victim to the next rampant shooter. We’re losing taxes, we’re wasting money fighting the oldest profession in the book, and we’re providing a platform for pimps to proliferate and contribute to all kinds of future social problems.

I’ll be honest, I’m a lot more afraid of a silent 22-year-old with a closet full of semi-automatics than I am of the local prostitute who has a weekly date with her john at the motel on the corner. If this isn’t a reflection on how immature America is, I don’t know what is. Everyone is waiting for us to grow up.

(Image Credit: MikeyGen73, iStock Photo)

Sex therapy – taking control of your sexuality

October 5, 2015 by admin

We go to the doctor when we’re sick, we see a psychotherapist for emotional support. And we have sex therapists for intimacy issues. The loss of a partner, divorce, inexperience, or insecurity get in the way of sexual satisfaction. That’s where sexual surrogates, sex therapy, and sex providers (escorts, sugar babies, dominatrices) – come into play.

People who have sex for money are sex professionals.

“Ever since I lost my legs I’ve not had the courage to date women,” a client confessed, “That’s why I see you ladies.”

In the last decade as an escort, and a madam, I saw married guys and virgins, power players and introverts. All of them came to me for a reason. Some just wanted to get laid. They didn’t have the time or confidence to date. Others came to me because they wanted to feel desired again, and I was the only intimate connection they had with another human being.

As an escort, I provided a form of therapy. I was a paid professional – a provider of intimate and sexual needs.

“I freeze every time a man gets close to me,” I heard a woman say, “part of me craves intimacy but I get terrified to take my clothes off, I have this C-section scar…”

A sex surrogate or surrogate partner therapy helps in situations like this, where sexual activity is a challenge.

Most sexual problems are psychological. Getting past that requires trust and communication. In sex therapy, these types of issues are worked out between a client and a therapist, and often times, a third person – a sex surrogate.

A sex surrogate is the hands-on, between the sheets, part of sex therapy.

Sometimes those sessions focus on relaxation techniques, intimate communication, and social skills. Some clients have fears of rejection or insecurity; or they may have compulsive issues. They see a sex therapist to work out those issues, and the sex therapist refers them to a sex surrogate to do their “homework”.

A sex surrogate, and a sex provider, carry out exercises on intimacy and sex.

There is one more type of sex provider – a dominatrix. My roommate was a dominatrix, and many of her clients came to her because they, too, craved an intimate connection with another human being. Many of them had been power players for so long, that being in control was all they knew how to do. They lost the ability to open up and be vulnerable around someone.

“I hate making decisions that affect thousands of people, then I have to go home and do the same thing all over again. I deal with crises every day at work, I’m the family problem solver, my wife leans on me, my parents rely on me, and so do my kids. I just want an hour where I don’t have to be that person anymore,” another client said.

These types of clients see a dominatrix because in a session he doesn’t know what is going to happen, and the uncertainty forces him to trust, that she wasn’t going to harm him or laugh. It broke down his walls and allowed him to open up again.

There’s no shame in hiring a sex professional.

Sexual surrogacy has been around since the 1970’s when the human sexuality researchers William Masters and Virginia E. Johnson introduced the concept. Sex providers have been around since, well, the dawn of time.

Healthy sex contributes to a healthier life – increased self esteem, a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, 45% lower heart disease, increased bladder control, decreased risk of prostrate cancer, regulated hormones, improved sleep, and less stress! That is, as long as the sexual relationship you’re having is a healthy one. An uncertain sexual relationship, like infidelity, hidden boyfriends, or mistresses bring added stress.

By paying a sexual professional, regardless if you choose a sex surrogate, a sex provider, or a dominatrix, since it’s a business transaction, you’re removing that unwanted element of uncertainty that comes with an unhealthy sexual relationship.

According to the International Professional Surrogates Association, clients are not paying for sex. They’re paying for therapy. Some have been trained as sexologists and are licensed, others have not, and just like with BDSM, some don’t have sexual intercourse, but some do.

In reality, a sex surrogate isn’t much different than a sex provider – just more socially accepted.

We’re all sensual guides and teachers. We all tailor the sexual experience / treatment specifically to the clients, based on psychological / physiological needs.

Which is right for you?

One notable difference between a sex surrogate and a sex provider, is that a surrogate isn’t hired based on the client’s ideal image preferences, they’re hired for therapy. Most are everyday looking people. A sex provider, on the other hand, since the activity is based more on entertainment, is hired based on looks and attitude. If you’re considering a dominatrix, just make sure you’re on the same page because dommes vary in their approach to treatment.

However, as with all relationships, when two people come together, dating, marriage, sugar baby, dominatrix, or sex surrogates, you have to keep in mind why you’re both there. Sometimes one person gets attached or falls in love, and the reason for hiring a professional goes right out the window.

(Image Credit: lculig, Fotolia)

$186 Billion a year – prostitution revenue worldwide – by Country

September 30, 2015 by admin

Global Black Market Data

$180 billion – money spent on prostitution each year, approximately $99 billion of that comes from sex trafficked victims.

10 million – number of women in the world working as a prostitute

Havocscope calculates the world’s prostitution revenue by adding up the estimated market values from countries where prostitution revenue is available. The revenue estimates comes from a wide range of sources, such as public health programs, law enforcement initiatives and other criminal justice programs, media reports, and from the the underground source itself.

China $73 Billion
Spain $26.5 Billion
Japan $24 Billion
Germany $18 Billion (Legal Industry)
United States $14.6 Billion
South Korea $12 Billion
India $8.4 Billion
Thailand $6.4 Billion
Philippines $6 Billion
Turkey $4 Billion
Switzerland $3.5 Billion
Indonesia $2.25 Billion
Taiwan $1.84 Billion
Ukraine $1.5 Billion
Bulgaria $1.3 Billion
United Kingdom $1 Billion
Netherlands $800 Million (Legal Industry)
Italy $600 Million
Cambodia $511 Million
Israel $500 Million
Ireland $326 Million
Czech Republic $200 Million
Jamaica $58 Million
Australia $27 Million

For more information visit the Havoscope website, or their ebook.

If you want to read further, about the revenue per country, the number of prostitutes, and their earnings visit the sources listed below.

While Havoscope utilizes strict sources and tries to remain transparent and ethical in sourcing their documentation, the very nature of the black market makes it difficult to be precise with numbers. However, many institutions have come to rely on them for figures and statistics.

13,828,700 Number of Prostitutes in the World – by Country

September 28, 2015 by admin

More numbers from Havoscope – the source for black market data. Havoscope makes every effort to ethically source their information and have gained the trust of organizations such as The World Economic Forum; council on Foreign Relations; Bloomberg; National Geographic; and more. However, due to the ambiguity of the black market, 100% accuracy is impossible.

China – 5 Million
India – 3 Million
United States – 1 Million
Philippines – 800,000
Mexico – 500,000
Germany – 400,000
Brazil – 250,000 children
Thailand – 250,000
Bangladesh – 200,000
South Korea – 147,000
Turkey – 118,000
Taiwan – 100,000
Cambodia – 70,000
Ukraine – 67,500
United Kingdom – 58,000
Kenya – 50,000 children
Vietnam – 33,000
South Africa – 30,000 children
United Arab Emirates – 30,000
France – 20,000
Switzerland – 20,000
Poland – 19,000
Mongolia – 19,000
Israel – 17,500
Costa Rica – 15,000
Netherlands – 7,000
New Zealand – 3,5000
Denmark – 3,200
Ireland – 1,000

Sources:

Havoscope.com
Global Black Market Information The information about the black market has been collected from various reports, government agencies,public health programs, academic studies, media reports, and reported data from sources.

Prostitution: Prices and Statistics of the Global Sex Trade

Prostitution rates by country

September 26, 2015 by admin

The world prostitution prices below are quoted in U.S. Dollars. The rates for sex are collected from various reports, by criminal justice programs, public health programs, news reports and media. Due to the ambiguity of the black market, 100% accuracy is impossible. Although, Havoscope makes every effort to ethically state and source their information and have gained the trust of organizations such as The World Economic Forum; council on Foreign Relations; Bloomberg; and more.

Afghanistan – $30 to $60
Argentina – $50 at brothel, $300 at club
Australia – $150 for Asian woman, $300 for Caucasian woman
Bangladesh – $0.60
Brazil – $5.50 for 13 year old girl
Brazil – Brothel (Rio) – $60 entry fee at Centaurus
Brazil – Vila Mimosa, Rio – $20
Bulgaria – $25
Canada – Vancouver – $147 on Backpage (User Submitted)
China – Beijing – $100 to $400
China – Dongguan – $160
China – Hotel Spa – $130
China – Shanghai – $650 to $1,600
Colombia – $200 with Virgin Girl
Costa Rica – Brothel – $30 at Brothels (User Submitted)
Denmark – $150 to $200 per hour (User Submitted)
Dubai – $81 to $136 in studio flat
Egypt – $400 for Tourists
France – Apartment in Paris – $207 per client
France – Cannes – Up to $40,000 a night
Germany Flat Rate of $65
Greece – $12 to $19 with HIV Positive Girl
Hong Kong – $40 in a one-room brothel to $232 in hostess bar
Hong Kong – 17 y/o minor – $50 to $65
India – $1,000 for virgin, $1 for adult
India – Calcutta Prostitute Earnings – $1.85 per day
India – Delhi – $13.50 to $16.80 for foreign women
India – Online – $573 for two hours
Indonesia – Earnings for Prostitute$784 to $1,120 per month
Indonesia – Social Media – $70 on Facebook
Iran – Tehran – $50 to $65 for Street Prostitute
Iraq – $100 per session / $200 per night
Ireland – $45 to $129 charged by male prostitutes
Ireland -Limerick – $107 to $133 online, $40 to $66 street price.
Japan – $125 for 60 minutes with a South Korean prostitute
Japan – Minor – $100 for sex with 14-year old
Japan – Tokyo – $118 at brothels
Jordan – $1,000 for Filipino Woman
Kenya – $25 for sex with 12 year old girl
Kenya Border – $11.25 Kenyan Prostitute, $2.00 Ugandan Prostitute
Kurdistan – $150
Kuwait – $700 for 3 hours with escort (User Submitted)
Madagascar- $15 for one session with 15 year-old girl
Maldives- $9.77 for children
Mali – $2
Malaysia – $100 for sex with child
Mexico – $50 per hour with street walker (User Submitted)
Mexico – Male Prostitutes – $40 for 40 minuets
Netherlands – Amsterdam – $68
Nigerian women in Italy – $13 per transaction
Nigerian women in Ivory Coast – $2 per act
Philippines – Subic Bay – $35 at bars
Poland$30 to 50 per hour
Scotland – Edinburgh – $48
Serbia – $10 to $500, average $60 (User submitted)
Singapore – $25,000 for 3-day tour
Singapore – Minor – $47 to $55
Singapore – Online – $111 to $119 for 90 minutes
South Korea – Jongmyo Park – $19 – $29 for Elder Women
South Korea – Southern Seoul – $117
South Korea – Underage Girl – $275
Suriname – One gram of gold
SwitzerlandUnion – minimum of $100
Syrian Women – $7 at refugee camp
Taiwan – $344 for South Korean Prostitute
Turkey – $500 for VIP service (User Submitted)
Ukraine – $124 to $248 for foreign language speaking prostitute
United Kingdom – London Male Prostitute – $229 per hour
United Kingdom – Street Prostitute – $20
United States – $50 to $100 for street prostitute
United States – High-End Escort in Indianapolis – $500 per hour
United States – High-End Escort in NYC – $10,000 a night
United States – Legal Brothel in Nevada – $200 to $600
United States – Massage Parlor – $200 to $400 for oral sex and intercourse
United States – Massage Parlor Worker Earnings – $8,000 to $10,000
United States – Minnesota – $60 for oral sex with minor found on Backpage
United States – Oregon (Ashland) – $200 to $500 per hour (User Submitted)
United States – Oregon (Portland) – $130
United States – Orlando – $300 to $400 per hour
United States – Pennsylvania Earnings – $20,00 a week
United States – Phoenix, AZ – $1,500 per day for lesbian escorts
United States – Prison Guard – $150 charged by female guards
United States – Santa Ana, CA – Under $100 per act
United States – Silicon Valley – $350 to $500 per hour
United States – Underage Girls – $40 to $100 for 15 to 30 minutes of sex
United States – Washington, DC – $200 an hour

For the original source of information on each country listed, follow the link below.

http://www.havocscope.com/black-market-prices/prostitution-prices/

Shopping for sex toys has never been more fun!